How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

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Which program do Jedi use to open PDF-files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

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What do you call a Japanese Cougar with exceptional taste?

Umami

What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar?

A liar.

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Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.