How does a fish always know how much they weigh?

Because they have their own scales!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do we know that God isn't a woman?

Because we're not all sandwiches

How do you know if you are a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What fish sounds like a telephone?

Herring herring...herring herring...herring herring.

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why are fish easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.

How do you weight a fish?

With a scale.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing ?

An elephant's shadow !

Where do you weigh pies?

Somewhere over a rainbow...