How does Gandalf know he's pregnant?

A wizard is never late.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone was in the navy?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

How did the blind skydiver know he was about to hit the ground?

He felt the slack in his dog's leash.

Gandalf Jokes More Gandalf Jokes

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction?

Stupid, filthy habitses!

Wizard Jokes More Wizard Jokes

Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.