Gandalf Jokes

Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

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Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

What did Gandalf say when he tried to shut down Auschwitz?

You shall not gas!"

Why did Gandalf never listen to the song "Dream Police"?

Because he was no conjurer of Cheap Trick

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What does the high elves call Gandalf?

Methrandir

What do hobbits secretly call Gandalf when he drinks too much ?

The White Wizzer

How does Gandalf know he's pregnant?

A wizard is never late.

Why does Gandalf prefer coupes?

Because other cars have Mordor.

What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction?

Stupid, filthy habitses!

Why is Gandalf's cupcake shop so successful?

Because he has a magical staff.

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Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?

Syrian Mckellen

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

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What does that mean?

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They both have rings!

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Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Why do the French like Cheap Trick?

Because they always surrender!