How many kids does Adrian Peterson have?

More than you can shake a stick at

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How do make a woman blind?

Stick a car windshield in front of her face.

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Because he was stuck in denial.

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Why couldn't the Dairy Queen have any kids?

Because she married Mr. Softy!

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He wanted to be cool.

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How many kids does Adrian Peterson have?

More than you can shake a stick at

Why did Adrian Peterson sign with the Minnesota Twins?

Because they needed a switch-hitter.