How many professional soccer players does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to change the bulb, and five to hug and kiss him.

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Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They just hold the bulb in place and the world revolves around them.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many ISIS mercenaries does it take to change a light bulb?

None stupid crusader, that's a job for the hostages!

How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?

One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

What's the difference between a light bulb and my pregnant girlfriend?

I can unscrew a lightbulb.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

Why shouldn't you kiss anybody on New Years Day?

Because it's the first date.

Hug Jokes More Hug Jokes

What if sharks hug with their mouths?

Just sayin.

What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?

The Easter Barney!