How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.

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What did Meghan Trainor say when she got mugged?

Please sir, I don't want any treble.

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

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How many psychologist does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but the light bulb is going to need to change itself.

How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

How many IT people does it take to change a light bulb?

Do you have a ticket for that?

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Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?

Because the 'p' is silent.

What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic?

He charges you double.