How much did the critic tip the waitor?

two cents

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Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail?

Because he was in-a-cent!

Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln?

Because he was always in a cent.

Critic Jokes More Critic Jokes

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.