How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's a caterpillar afraid of?

A dogerpillar (Thank you Laffy Taffy for the worst best joke I've ever heard)

What do you call a dog that is underwater?

A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen?

Time to get it fixed.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why couldn't Helen Keller vote?

She was a woman! And it wasn't until 1920 when the 19th Amendment was ratified. At this point she was 40 years old and could vote.

What did the woman say when she was diagnosed with cerebal palsy?

Nothing, she was too disabled to speak

Midnight Jokes More Midnight Jokes

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

What's the best way to hunt for deer?

Driving at midnight.