How old?

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

What is a pirates least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Whats worse than having to break up with your Japanese girlfriend for the first time?

Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time.

Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

When is the one time when no doesn't mean no?

When a woman rejects feminism.

Where does Ned Flanders pick up women?

On OkilyDokilyCupid

Midnight Jokes More Midnight Jokes

How do you know it's midnight at the Neverland Ranch?

The big hand's touching the little hand.

What did the two narwhals say at midnight?

Nothing, they just baconed.