How's your narcissism?

Much better I thin...*sees my ex walking by* opens window HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE I BROKE UP WITH YOU!"

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How many trannies does it take to change a light bulb?

None, it's perfectly happy being broken, it's the fitting that has to change.

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

What walks on two legs, but can't move forward?

Americans who voted for Hillary

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9?

Because Windows 8 9.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What jedi is the best at opening PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi

How do government employees wink when they're at work?

They briefly open one eye.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

How many of my ex-girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Apparently she will screw anything.

What do you call some who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict