Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why is does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors it'd be called a chicken sedan. (better if saying it out loud because of the spelling of coop/coupe) -

What does 2 electrons say when the meet each other ?

Hey, watt's up ?

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How did the farmer find his lost cow?

He tractor down

What element can you find in almost any shoe store?

Heelium! I'll see myself out now...

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What does Mr. T say when he walks into a buffet?

I pity the full!

Why did the phone keep walking into the wall?

It lost its contacts.

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door.

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

What does Drew Carey have in his driveway?

Cleveland Rocks!

How do you know if a Chinese man has robbed your house?

Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

Why did the stripper need more insurance?

She had little to no coverage.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why Wasn't Jesus born in Italy?

They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

What does a priest and a christmas tree have in common?

The balls are for decoration!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

What is a Muslim womans favorite amendment?

The second (right to bare arms)

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What did the pirate say with a steering wheel down his pants?

YARRR, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!!!"

Why bro?

Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why does a German always have the last laugh?

He has to wait for the verb.

How do you make someone stare at a screen for 30 seconds?

Please wait...

Anxiety Jokes More Anxiety Jokes

What happens to a girl with anxiety when she sees a Spanish person?

She has a hispanic attack

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

Sigh Jokes More Sigh Jokes

What's the difference between a sigh a car and a monkey?

A sigh is oh dear. A car is too dear. A monkey is you dear.

Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?

sigh "You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe." bathrobe sags dejectedly