What am I a pillow now?

Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence

Why don't you?

Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ?

Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !

What did the dog do with the history professor?

They got together and talked over old times.

Pillow Jokes More Pillow Jokes

What do you call it when... You put a pillow on a stool?

You call it a stool softener cheesiest joke I made up

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

What did the super spy polyatomic ion say when he walked into the bar?

The name's Bond, Covalent Bond

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

Yep Jokes More Yep Jokes

Why is 9 crying?

me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep

What's the capital of Ohio?

Son: ... Me: It's also a famous explorer. Son: Dora Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio.