Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do?

Lay awake in bed wondering if there really is a dog.

What's bad about wetting your bed?

Urine it.

Spread Jokes More Spread Jokes

What do you call mints you can spread through social media?

Memementos

What do you do if you step on a landmine?

Well standard procedure is to jump 50 feet and spread over a wide area.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

Why did the dog's friends send her home from the bar when she started to act strange?

They thought she might have been slipped a woofie.

What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street?

Slip not.

Pillow Jokes More Pillow Jokes

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night !

Who leaves money under the pillows of children with LGBT parents ?

Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy.