What are the two biggest lies in Wyoming?

My truck is paid for, and honestly officer, I was just helping the sheep over the fence.

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea?

A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face.

How much do deodorant factory workers get paid?

A pittance.

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What TV personality lives in your phone?

SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

Truck Jokes More Truck Jokes

What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination?

A log n truck.

Which is the quickest way to reach the hospital?

Bernard pushed him under a truck...

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?

A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"

Big Lie Jokes More Big Lie Jokes

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service."