What did Jesus said to his girlfriend in the morning?

Damn, you really nailed me last night.

This joke may have profanity.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter?

He couldn't remove three nails to save his life

What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane?

If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend?

It's a dead letter day.

How is a girlfriend like a pronoun?

Your's is possessive

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night?

Numchucks.

What do you get when... ...you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.