What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

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Why are Vampires Democrats?

They want Gore in 2000.

Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "

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What do Swedish criminals say when the cops are coming?

Pork! Pork! Pork!

What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?

I came, I thaw, I conquered .

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off the building?

Te-quil-a

Why did u shoot ur wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover Methew:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

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Why am I here?

Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair.

What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories ?

A shaggy dogs tale !

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When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

Why do people get divorced in the holiday season?

Because they Marry Christmas!

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What did Ray Charles say when they handed him a cheese grater?

This is the most violent thing I've ever read.

Why couldn't Ray Charles see his friends?

Because he was married