What did the doctor say to the cancer patient?

You have tumor months to live.

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Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-nile...

Where do midget terrorists live?

Halfghanistan.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend?

See ya next month.

What do you mean, ten?

Ten years Ten months Ten-" "Nine... Eight..."

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Which side is it best to lie on?

she asked. "The side that pays your fee" replied the doctor.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Cancer Patient Jokes More Cancer Patient Jokes

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

Why did the cancer patient get smacked?

His hand was bigger than his face.