What did the emu say to the nurse?

A: Mend her bones or walk the plank

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the visually-challenged gentleman say as he walked past the tuna stand at the open air market on a hot summer's day?

Hello ladies. Warm enough for you

Why do the English always carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Bone Jokes More Bone Jokes

How many bones are there in a graveyard?

A skeleTON.

What did it mean when they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

Plank Jokes More Plank Jokes

What do you call a dead body and two planks?

A "Build your own Jesus" kit.

What did the emu say to the nurse?

A: Mend her bones or walk the plank

Mend Jokes More Mend Jokes

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

With a monkey wrench.

How do you mend a jack-o-lantern?

A: With a pumpkin patch.

Emu Jokes More Emu Jokes

What did the emu say to the nurse?

A: Mend her bones or walk the plank

How did the emu feel when his friends disowned him for being too big?

Ostrich-sized.