What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you call an elephant the circus no longer needs?

Irrelephant.

What's life like with alchohol?

Depressing. What's life like without alchohol? Depressing. I need friends.

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.

How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac?

He's always HARD at work.

Corpse Jokes More Corpse Jokes

Why was everyone saying such kind, loving words to the man?

The man was a corpse being buried forever.

What is the one thing you shouldn't do at a funeral?

The corpse.