What do Aaron Hernandez and Jared Fogle now have in common?

Matching uniforms.

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Why's he in his underwear?

Batman: So we match. Look, this isn't about me.

Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?

Because they rain supreme.

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What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*

Why was Jared Fogle upset?

Because he was sentenced to over 15 years in prison.

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Where should Aaron Hernandez have hidden the evidence?

The Cowboys' endzone because no one goes there

What do Aaron Hernandez and Edward Snowden have in common?

They're both expatriots (expatriates).