What do vegetarian zombies want?

Graaaaiiiiinss!

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Why don't bananas snore?

Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

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What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

What do you call a Chinese man with a pet cat?

A vegetarian.

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What do vegetarian zombies want?

Graaaaiiiiinss!

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.