What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call an Italian guy with one arm shorter than the other?

A Speech Impediment :)

What do you call an Italian with no arms?

Deaf

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What's got two legs, spots and bleeds?

Half a cheetah.

What has two legs and red all over?

Half a puppy... I'm sorry

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why do men want to marry a virgin?

To avoid criticism and comparison.

What do you call a man with no shin ?

Tony

Porch Jokes More Porch Jokes

Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch?

Paddy O'Furniture!

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible?

A: Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.