What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

What is yellow and can't swim?

An excavator. And why? Because it only got one arm.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What's white and crawls up your leg?

Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice

What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms or legs?

Bob.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ?

This is the end of me !

How did the greeks separate the men from the boys?

With a crowbar.

Porch Jokes More Porch Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?

When Jesus went up for the cross.

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.