What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?

Lost

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What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

Why did Mike Dukakis lose the 1998 Presidential election?

He TANKED his campaign!

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What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant?

Wishful thinking. Obviously

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?

Invite an accountant.

Spreadsheet Jokes More Spreadsheet Jokes

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?

Lost

Why did the spreadsheets get divorced?

They just couldn't sort things out.