What do you call someone who knows all?

Nostril-damus. &ampnbsp Works better if you read the joke out loud.

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What's the alien version of Facebook?

Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know).

Do you know what the word 'was' was initially?

Before was was was was was is.

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Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Shows you it works then. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys picking cherries.

What kind of physician works on a cruise liner?

A dry doc.

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What's a sharks favorite game?

Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

How many /r/ users does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, one to complain that it has already been done before, and one to repost this joke.

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How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts?

It's not my fault I'm blind.

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What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile