What do you get when a deaf guy tries to talk to you at a urinal?

Wet

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What's the opposite of Stephen Hawking?

Stephen Talking.

What do fish talk about at work?

Current events

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Why is my waiting room empty?

Judge: "I hauled everyone off to court" Doctor: "You're trying my patients"

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

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What do you get when a deaf guy tries to talk to you at a urinal?

Wet

What did the deaf guy say to the blind guy?

I can't hear you, but I can see your point

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What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived?

He wet his plants.

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.