What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What service did Michael Jackson use to do his taxes?

Pay-To-File

What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a toilet?

The toilet doesn't insist on cuddling after you drop your load in it.

What did Spock find in the toilet?

Captain's log.

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

What's the difference between sanctuary and prison?

Toilet paper.

What is a math teacher's favorite kind of toilet paper?

The kind that has multi ply's.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

nail the other hand to the floor.

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?

8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.