How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What is irony?

When the last person you want to see is the last person you see.

What do a black guy and a paraplegic have in common?

They're both only three fifths of a person

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you call a burning white guy?

A firecracker

What do you call a politician in a house fire?

Burning Sanders!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why was the pirate fired from the babyGap?

For stealing the booty

What's bright, red and orange and looks good on hippies?

Fire.

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

What's the difference between babies and love?

Love doesn't burn. What's worst part about making love to a dead baby. Digging up the coffin. How long does take to play hide and seek with a dead baby? It depends how small the pieces are.

How long is one minute?

It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What do people say when you win a game in Egypt?

Game, *Set,* and match.

What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland?

Paddy O' Furniture

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

Why did the arsonist go to the gym?

To burn some calories.