The lawyer can't guarantee to get you off.
Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.
I don't use sugar in my signature cookies.
You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.
Because they both "practice" their professions.
There are so much seamen there.
A Pastatute
Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.