What's the difference between a lawyer and whore?

The lawyer can't guarantee to get you off.

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a canoe?

Canoes tip.

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

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What do a sperm and a lawyer have in common?

A 1 in 3,000,000 chance of becoming a human being.

How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

Never enough.

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Whores does it take to change a light bulb?

If this gets 500 upvotes i'll tell you!

What's the one thing missing from the offensive jokes on r/jokes?

Karma, Whores.

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

Who is guaranteed to win?

Society.