What's the difference between a lawyer and whore?

The lawyer can't guarantee to get you off.

This joke may have profanity.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby?

I don't use sugar in my signature cookies.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why do engineering students call themselves engineers?

You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

Whore Jokes More Whore Jokes

Why are the whores in the docks never hungry?

There are so much seamen there.

What do you call a person who whores themselves out for spaghetti?

A Pastatute

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.