What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"

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Satisfaction Jokes More Satisfaction Jokes

What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?

Satisfaction

Why do moslem girls love black guys?

more satisfaction at night for wearing a ninja suit all day.

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

Why should trees never sign birthday cards?

Because they're always so *Sappy*!

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

Who is guaranteed to win?

Society.

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

What does Egyptian airport security have in common with Los Angeles airport security?

Both have LAX security.

Double Jokes More Double Jokes

How can a can you double your money?

By folding it in half.

How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: "Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"