What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a tribe of wild hunting pygmies and a Women's roller derby team?

The Pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.

What's the difference between a football player and a bank robber?

The bank robber says: Give me the money or I will shoot! The football player says: Give me the money or I won't shoot.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Santa do to dragons?

He "sleighs" them.

What does Santa say when he is sick?

OH OH NO!

Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

Santa Claus Jokes More Santa Claus Jokes

What is big and red and rolls over in the snow?

Santa Claus hit in the balls!

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

What's the loudest thing in the last two Harry Potter films?

Deaf Lee's "HELLO!"

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

Free Jokes More Free Jokes

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?"