Elf Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

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What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

What does Santa teach his elves?

The Elfabet!

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

Why did the elf have to play with Mega Bloks?

Because he was Legoless

What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop?

WRAP MUSIC!

What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that follows Scientology?

Elron Hubbard

How do elves spell?

With an elfabet.

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How many elves does a german santa have?

Elf.

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull?

A: 10:45

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

How many elves does it take it screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but they have to be very small.

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Santa Helper Jokes More Santa Helper Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?

Because its head is so far away from its body.

Who left these bodies here?

Get them back inside the camp!"

Legola Jokes More Legola Jokes

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

Why did the drunk guy call the sheep Legolas?

Because it was a cloud

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How does a lawyer from Panama play his guitar?

He shreds.

Why does jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's up, Chad?

he'll be all "Whoa... How'd you know my name, bro "

How do you know when you are going to drown in milk?

When it's past your eyes.

High Elf Jokes More High Elf Jokes

Who stole the golden necklace? Was it a High Elf, a Nord or a Khajiit?

The Khajiit.

What does the high elves call Gandalf?

Methrandir

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.

What religion do mosquitoes follow?

Muslim, because they go to a mosque...ito. Sorry.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is the cow's holiday greeting?

Mooooory Christmas!

What does a cat in the desert and Christmas have in common?

They both have Sandy Claws.