What's the easiest way to make a million dollars?

Invest a billion.

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What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

How does a racist joke start?

A small loan of a million dollars.

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What's the easiest way to get a virus into ISIS computer systems?

By sending them executables.

What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

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Who is the most successful liar in the world?

Mary. Lied about her extramarital affair, still believed by billions.

What's the easiest way to make a million dollars?

Invest a billion.

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Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

because the capital is always Dublin!

Where do birds invest their money ?

In the stork market !