What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

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911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside?

Because 9/11 was an inside dog.

Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?

A: Elephants never forget.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What did the surfer say when he visited Syria?

This place is totally radical!

What do you get when you stab a baby with a knife?

An erection and a place to put it.

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!