What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

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911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

How do you find a dirty cop?

Call 911, it doesn't matter who answers

What can conspiracy theorists never explain?

They say that 9/11 was an inside job... but planes fly OUTSIDE. Can't explain that

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 to hold the bulb in place and 100 to spin the house around it.

What do you do if you break your arm in two places?

Don't go back to those two places.

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!