What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

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What did the commitment averse monster truck announcer say to his girlfriend when she asked him, "When are you going to finally ask me to marry you?

SOMEDAY ###SOMEDAY! ###SOMEDAY!!

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

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Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

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What will Kayne West's political leaning be if he runs for President?

West wing

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

Whats your biggest weakness?

I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*