Lincoln Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

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Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

What makes perfect sense?

The U.S. mint (cents)

What can be said about a rich man who doesn't carry change with him?

He's got more money than cents

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school?

Ferrous Bueller's Day Off

What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy?

rated movies.

Slay Jokes More Slay Jokes

What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires?

What's a movie?

What do Super Mario Brothers, and relationships have in common?

Sometimes you have to slay a few dragons before you get to the princess

President Jokes More President Jokes

How many Americans does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. Their President outsources the job to India.

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Why do midgets make bad parents?

Cause they struggle to put food on the table

3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out

They couldn't find a table.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile?

A: An animal that talks your head off.

What's the best part about getting head from an infant?

Watching the soft spot move.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you mean I've had enough to drink?

Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost.

Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

Why is that bear hanging out in the bar?

ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian.

What do you call children born into a whorehouse?

Your kids