Lincoln Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

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He took a day off

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because all day they deal with ores.

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How does a blonde man get really rich,stupid and a candidate for president ?

small loan of 100 million dollars

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Lincoln. He made the most cents.

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When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ?

He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

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What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

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What do you call a movie about dancing robots?

Step up: transformers :v

What movie was made when Hannibal lecter got Paralysed?

Silence of the Limbs

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How did Christopher Columbus 'discover' America?

By occident

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

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Why is unemployment rising in Jamaica?

Because they're jahbless!

Which US president is most responsible for unemployment in the US today?

Abraham Lincoln.

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What do you call a chicken with no neck?

A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit.

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.