Table Jokes

Why didn't the table want to be sat on?

He wasn't a charitable guy

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the Olive say when it fell off the table?

I'll live...

Why do midgets make bad parents?

Cause they struggle to put food on the table

How do you get out?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two half's make a whole, go through the hole.

What's best about hiring an immigrant midget?

You pay them under the table )

Why did the couch give the table a dollar?

Because it was for chair-ity

What do you call a couch, chair, and a table made out of plants?

What do you call a couch, chair, and a table made out of plants? Ferniture.

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

What's the difference between an arts student and a table?

A table can support itself

Why are you guys all sitting on the same side of the table?

DaVinci

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

How big was the ant when it knocked over the table?

giANT!!

What was the most pivotal point in Jesus' ministry?

When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

Whats your biggest weakness?

I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*

How's your meal?

i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

What shape is your table?

A: Um, round But that's not really... R: Got it

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

Why won't pigs take up jogging?

They don't like to get that far from the table.

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

Who's there ! Amanda ! Amanda who ?

Amanda the table!

What is small, crying and cannot get under the table?

A child with pitchfork in his back

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out

They couldn't find a table.

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Struggle Jokes More Struggle Jokes

Why do midgets make bad parents?

Cause they struggle to put food on the table

What do you have there?

Me: struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down Ham.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?

One less drunk.

How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist?

Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

Picnic Table Jokes More Picnic Table Jokes

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of four

What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of 4.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?

Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.

Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual?

Because the pedals fell off.

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party?

Shot in the head in Dallas.

Why did Steph Curry cross the road?

Because he wasnt far enough from the 3pt line to take the shot.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What is the difference between a black man and a couch?

A couch can support a family

Why did so many people show up to see the cannibal get cremated?

His family advertised it as a barbecue.

Olive Jokes More Olive Jokes

What kind of olives do I like?

Olive them

Why is it called extra virgin olive oil?

Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What drink can wrongly convict a black man?

Tequila Mockingbird

Why are black men afraid of chainsaw's?

When you start them, they made the sound "runnnniganiganiganiga" Sorry for the racism, but had to share this.