What was the name of the heaviest man in china?

Won ton

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What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the PlayStation.

How did I win a Super Smash Bros. Brawl Tournament?

I met a knight

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Why is there no phone books in china?

Because theres so many wings and wongs you wing the wong number.

What do you call a dog with lice in China?

Full course dinner

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What is heavy forward but not backward?

Ton

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.