When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

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Suit Jokes More Suit Jokes

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

What do you get when you mix a cat and a blender?

A visit from the cops.

What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe?

I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of flower grows on your face?

A: Tulips.

What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?

Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What do you call an Ape that's afraid of heights?

A chimp-pansy. This is my go to primatology joke.

What happened when the Ape won the door prize?

He didn't take it - he already had a door!

Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.