Tailor Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

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What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

What did Victoria say to the tailor?

I'm a Taylor too.

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

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Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

A: Darn!

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?

The heretic kept crossing the warp

Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

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What "c word" describes my girlfriend and why I'm not getting any?

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Because he is an x-boxer

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

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Why did King Kong go to the airport?

He had a plane to catch.

What sort of net is useless for catching fish ?

A football net !

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What kind of fun does a priest have?

Nun.

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What do you call a nun that sleep-walks a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit

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Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house?

He's snowed in.

What did the hippie say when I asked him to leave my house?

Nah, I'm-a stay.

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What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

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What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have?

404

Why was the juice company losing customers?

There was no punch-line.

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What do a cab driver and a cue ball have in common?

The harder you hit them ...the more english you get out.

What snooker and women have in common?

When pink is blocked by red, you hit the brown.