When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How do cats let us know that they are in pain ?

Me...........Owwwwww!!

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree

Pause Jokes More Pause Jokes

How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

Guacamole Jokes More Guacamole Jokes

Why are you being so distant?

Me: Why didn't you order a side of guacamole

What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*1023 times?

Guacamole

Chipotle Jokes More Chipotle Jokes

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

What do I look for in a girl?

Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.

Financial Advisor Jokes More Financial Advisor Jokes

What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."