Pause Jokes

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

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What is a hemophiliac's least favorite song?

Don't stop ble-eding (The pause is necessary)

How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."

Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?

Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this...

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Clause Jokes More Clause Jokes

Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!"

How can you spot a racist in a crowd?

They're the ones shouting "Black Lives Matter!"

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?

I replied.

What are we going to do?

The other replied "Quick turn the car into a side street."

Claw Jokes More Claw Jokes

What works in a circus walks a tightrope and has claws ?

An acrocat !

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

Paw Jokes More Paw Jokes

What do you call it when a cat stops?

A: A paws!

What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?

I'm paw !

Suit Jokes More Suit Jokes

What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

Which singer would be best suited for the roman military?

Britney Spears

Chipotle Jokes More Chipotle Jokes

What do you call a voucher for complimentary Chipotle?

free coli

What do they call Chipotle in Canada?

Chipotl-eh

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Because it's a Nietzsche Market.

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.