When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

What does Shaggy ask himself when he's in a bind?

What would Scooby doo

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What happens when you give an Italian a coupon?

It makes the Dego buy faster.

Why do they call it Almond Milk?

Because if they called it Nut Juice nobody would buy it.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world?

Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)

What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ?

A witch with a blindfold !

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

Why can't Chinese people tie their shoes?

I would love to tell you, but I am afraid the answer is a little bit lacist.

What kind of shoes to frogs like ?

Open toad sandals !

Cupcake Jokes More Cupcake Jokes

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

When someone says something was made with "love" what exactly does that mean?

Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake