Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What animal will you always see at a resturant?

A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.

How many fingers do I have up?

a gynecologist who thinks he's really funny

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How is your day going?

G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.

How are Americans and poles similar?

Running into one could really ruin your day.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways?

He died on the cross!

Who, Jesus?

No, dummy. Superman.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

Where did the tornado go?

Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her head

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

karma chameleon