Who has more money than God?

His Ex-Wife.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank?

So you always have access to cold hard cash...

How does a dishwasher make his money?

Panhandling

God Jokes More God Jokes

What's the difference between a statesman and a politician?

A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.

Why is Snow White?

Because it's perfect, just the way God made it.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex?

The crayon is non-toxic!

How crazy is your ex?

Crazy like my triceps " "How sick is your mother Sick like my triceps "