Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

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Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

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What do you call an investment banker who's always watching you?

A stocker.

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

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What is the scariest thing to read in braile?

Do not touch"

What is bronze?

Read a book, you dummies.

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How are you doing in arithmetic ?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!

John Boehner Jokes More John Boehner Jokes

Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

How do you make an orange turn red?

Get John Boehner to cry.