Who's been screwing my wife?

A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You don't have enough ammo, mate!"

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to drop it and six to pick it up pick it up pick it up

Why did the Scot screw the sheep on the edge of a cliff?

So it would push back.

Voice Jokes More Voice Jokes

Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory?

He didn't like being spoken to in that voice

What do you call your GPS if it has the voice of Terry Crews?

Crews Control.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

Why did a seal go to the bar?

Because he didn't want to go clubbing.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"