Why are they using two ply toilet paper in Russia?

Because authorities want a carbon copy of all matters.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do single men live longer than married men?

Because they want to.

What do clouds want to be when they grow up?

Thunderstorms

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call an armoire that is secretly used as a closet?

A closet closet.

What does an asylum have in common with a squirrel's house?

They're both used to store nuts.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

How many Environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they will never change a thing.

What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?

Me: Doesn't matter, just get out.