Why are you hitting that spider?

wife: I don't like spiders me: Ooooh *grabs newspaper* mother-in-law leaving I don't have to take this

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why was the composer late for work?

He missed Debussy. I'll just leave.

What's the difference between a yogurt and the Americans?

If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ?

An octopuss !

When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?

and the other lawyer replies, "Outta what "

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?

One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other...

Why don't women get hit by trains?

There is no railroad tracks between the living room and the kitchen.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What's the difference between a brothel and a circus?

Your mother never ran away to join the circus.

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

What kind of degree do you inherit through marriage?

A degree in law.

What do you call a black attorney?

A brotha-in-law

Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

What does a spider do when he gets angry ?

He goes up the wall !

What did the spider say to the bee ?

Your honey or your life !