Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?

There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!

What's the difference between Jesus and Sasha Grey?

The look on their face while being nailed.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

How does someone pay for a painting?

With Monet

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?

I heard that he was fully re-covered.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

Sametime next month? I heard this jome a while back. Sorry if its a repost

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

What did the cheeseburger name her daughter?

Patty.

Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?

Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"

Different Color Jokes More Different Color Jokes

What should you call someone with a different color of skin than your own?

A hue man.

Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it