Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

How do you know the girl from Jaws had dandruff?

She left her Head &amp Shoulders on the beach

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do you call your mom who used to be your dad?

A transparent ( )

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing."

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What do you have on?

The man says, "I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What do you call a Greek philosopher who plays hard to get?

A socra-tease Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week

How many Kings of Spain abdicated last week?

Just Juan

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What do you call the guy you buy your weed from?

Your chron-tact.

What happened to the muslim who smoked weed?

They got stoned

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

Why didn't the electron leave it's house?

Because it was grounded.

Why was the bicycle laying on the ground?

Because it was two-tired

Bust Jokes More Bust Jokes

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

How near was the boy to his dad's tobacco stash before getting busted?

Close... but no cigar.