Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know you're flying over Poland?

A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?

He didn't know he had it in him.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why did the gynecologist get taken in for questioning?

He smelled a little fishy. Edit: a word.

What is the one smell you can never get out of the house, no matter what you spray or what incense you burn?

Your grandparents.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What do you call orange juice that looks like apple juice, but tastes like orange juice?

Juice Jenner. I'll be here all week

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed?

Hairy Potter.

What do you call the guy you buy your weed from?

Your chron-tact.

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

Why did the skydiver die before reaching the ground?

Because he reached terminal velocity.

Why don't we run through the parking lot?

me laying on the ground in front of the car that hit me Because it's dangerous

Bust Jokes More Bust Jokes

What would you call a Street Fighter player who can bust out the Spinning Pile Driver really fast?

SPD Gonzales.

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.